Everything on the back burner,

Why do I feel so extremely not good enough?

metrogoon:

Depress.

Depressed.

Depressing

Depression.

Everything in my body is trying to hold back tears. I’m trying to breathe. I know I break promises. I understand I’m a fuck up and I’m worthless. Trust me I get the picture.
All I want to do is cry and break down and do it all over again. May be it’d hurt more if I washed my old cuts and sliced over them again. I’ve never done it before but there’s a first for everything.
Everything in my being wants to off myself because I’m tired, I don’t want every one to revolve around my fucks up. I don’t want to spend every night hating myself more and more because I breathe and because I hurt people.
I never thought I was too horrible but now all I can think is may be my baby brother will have a better life with out his bullshit sister, may be my mom will sleep better at night knowing her spoiled brat daughter who had all these hopes and dreams was really full of shit and wouldn’t accomplish them anyway.
I fucking give up.

I’m begging myself not to.